The Legend of STRETCH

Long ago, before the Dark Times, four friends gathered in a stranger’s apartment in New Jersey and made an astounding discovery: they were all Lunatics. “SOOOOOOUP”, they howled, thrusting their fingers skyward.

Little did they know that this was, in fact, a powerful incantation. By nights end, they shared a collective vision:

High up on a Brooklyn rooftop were two very odd Spirits: one was named… “JAY” and one was named… “SETH”. Jay was a rugged Spirit of Survival who could punch the air real good. And Seth was a Hungry Spirit who would eat just about anything including receipts, leaves, power bars, and… Stretch Men. Neither of them were very bright.

Try as the two foolish Spirits may, but they could find no way down from the roof. They called down for human mortals to rescue them, but nobody listened. (This was New York, after all.) The Spirits had just about given up all hope when suddenly, the magic of the Stretch Men that Seth had devoured years ago burst forth from his body.

Seth started to twist and convulse with middle fingers in the air. This is how Seth discovered… the powerful Fuck You Dance. Jay, transfixed by the dance, was suddenly filled with Ancient Stretch Man Wisdom. “it’s a pull door!” cried Jay. Realizing they were free at last, Jay and Seth convulsed happily in the cold windy morning.

The vision ended. “OOOOOOOOOOOOUUUUUUUUU!!!!” intoned the Lunatics, far too ecstatic to require consonants. And that is the story of how the first GirlSoup film was born.